Mommy again

I'm going to be a Mommy again. I almost can't believe it. Right now things feel surreal and a bit scary, but entirely wonderful and exciting. I wonder if I have the ability to mother 3 children. Can I handle the extra responsibility? Can I keep my cool during those inevitable chaotic moments? Will Ben feel replaced by the new baby? Will he be resentful towards me?

You see, Ben is very satisfied with his position as Baby-of-the-Family. And honestly, so am I. I have to admit that I do baby him a bit. Does he need help putting on those snow boots? No, but I do it anyway. Can he use a big boy cup full time now? Sure, but sippy cups still hold a place in our cupboard. Do I give extra kisses when he gets a boo-boo simply because he's my baby?? You'd better believe it.

We asked Ben if he's excited to have a little brother or sister. He said NO. Adamantly. We even tried to approach it from his perspective..."Are you excited to be a big brother like Max?" "NNNOOOO!!!" *dramatic crossing of the arms* I'm sure he'll learn to love the new baby, but for now he's not cool with it and we're not going to push the conversation on him.

Thankfully Maxwell is nothing but EXCITED for a new baby. He was very interested in where the baby would sit in the van today, and was very much insistent that the baby NEEDS to sit rightnexttohim in the 3rd row. "My baby will sit RIIIIGHT here, Mom*" he says, patting the empty space next to him. He's my big boy. My professional big brother.

I know one thing for sure...once this baby comes into our lives we are going to realize a level of chaos that is most likely not present in our house right now. Its going to be so insane but I think if we learn to embrace the craziness we will be just fine.

Embrace. Embrace. Embrace.

*Yeah, I don't know where "Mommy" or "Mama" went. For the record, I am NOT ok with this new MOM word. ;)

My bad

This morning was the first morning since February 10th that the boys and I have woken up without Justin home. He kissed me goodbye, of course, but the boys were still asleep and since it seems Justin and I don't get a lot of "quiet time" these days, he opted to let them snooze.

It wasn't long before I heard little voices through my half-sleep coming from across the hall. "The sun is awake, Benny...let's go *pway!" Protesting, Ben voices his own desires, "NO. Snuggle. Mommy." Not a few seconds pass, and 2 cuddly, still-warm-from-sleep little guys come rolling in, landing perfectly in their own unique snuggle-style. Max laying on my arm, wrapping it around his body...Ben laying on my shoulder, reaching an arm over my chest, and saying oh-so-affectionately, "Moooommy..." It was a beautiful moment.

While we were laying there, talking, laughing, waking up, I realized that my kids are friggin hilarious. They were both reciting lines from their newest favorite movie, Tarzan. With exceptional accuracy, I might say. From my left side, Max says (in a "girly" voice, mind you), "Nonono {clears throat}, I'm Jane." Then from my right, Ben mimics (as if he's Tarzan), "No. No. No. *I'n Yane."

Then, Max goes out to find Ben's "baby," which is really a musical dog that he uses to go to sleep at night. Ben. Is. Not. Ok. With. This. He wants his baby. He wants it back! He's been WRONGED!!! So what was once silly banter across my front, has now become BATTLE! Ben lunges, to no avail of course, because Max is stealthier. Then, Max reaches over and accidentally slaps my hand. I say to him, "Don't hit me Max!" to which he replies, "Oh, sorry Mommy, I was trying to hit Benny." Goofball.

And that folks, was my morning.

*these words are not typos. this is really how my kids speak. :)