Mommy again

I'm going to be a Mommy again. I almost can't believe it. Right now things feel surreal and a bit scary, but entirely wonderful and exciting. I wonder if I have the ability to mother 3 children. Can I handle the extra responsibility? Can I keep my cool during those inevitable chaotic moments? Will Ben feel replaced by the new baby? Will he be resentful towards me?

You see, Ben is very satisfied with his position as Baby-of-the-Family. And honestly, so am I. I have to admit that I do baby him a bit. Does he need help putting on those snow boots? No, but I do it anyway. Can he use a big boy cup full time now? Sure, but sippy cups still hold a place in our cupboard. Do I give extra kisses when he gets a boo-boo simply because he's my baby?? You'd better believe it.

We asked Ben if he's excited to have a little brother or sister. He said NO. Adamantly. We even tried to approach it from his perspective..."Are you excited to be a big brother like Max?" "NNNOOOO!!!" *dramatic crossing of the arms* I'm sure he'll learn to love the new baby, but for now he's not cool with it and we're not going to push the conversation on him.

Thankfully Maxwell is nothing but EXCITED for a new baby. He was very interested in where the baby would sit in the van today, and was very much insistent that the baby NEEDS to sit rightnexttohim in the 3rd row. "My baby will sit RIIIIGHT here, Mom*" he says, patting the empty space next to him. He's my big boy. My professional big brother.

I know one thing for sure...once this baby comes into our lives we are going to realize a level of chaos that is most likely not present in our house right now. Its going to be so insane but I think if we learn to embrace the craziness we will be just fine.

Embrace. Embrace. Embrace.

*Yeah, I don't know where "Mommy" or "Mama" went. For the record, I am NOT ok with this new MOM word. ;)

My bad

This morning was the first morning since February 10th that the boys and I have woken up without Justin home. He kissed me goodbye, of course, but the boys were still asleep and since it seems Justin and I don't get a lot of "quiet time" these days, he opted to let them snooze.

It wasn't long before I heard little voices through my half-sleep coming from across the hall. "The sun is awake, Benny...let's go *pway!" Protesting, Ben voices his own desires, "NO. Snuggle. Mommy." Not a few seconds pass, and 2 cuddly, still-warm-from-sleep little guys come rolling in, landing perfectly in their own unique snuggle-style. Max laying on my arm, wrapping it around his body...Ben laying on my shoulder, reaching an arm over my chest, and saying oh-so-affectionately, "Moooommy..." It was a beautiful moment.

While we were laying there, talking, laughing, waking up, I realized that my kids are friggin hilarious. They were both reciting lines from their newest favorite movie, Tarzan. With exceptional accuracy, I might say. From my left side, Max says (in a "girly" voice, mind you), "Nonono {clears throat}, I'm Jane." Then from my right, Ben mimics (as if he's Tarzan), "No. No. No. *I'n Yane."

Then, Max goes out to find Ben's "baby," which is really a musical dog that he uses to go to sleep at night. Ben. Is. Not. Ok. With. This. He wants his baby. He wants it back! He's been WRONGED!!! So what was once silly banter across my front, has now become BATTLE! Ben lunges, to no avail of course, because Max is stealthier. Then, Max reaches over and accidentally slaps my hand. I say to him, "Don't hit me Max!" to which he replies, "Oh, sorry Mommy, I was trying to hit Benny." Goofball.

And that folks, was my morning.

*these words are not typos. this is really how my kids speak. :)

On the road again...

We drove to Seattle.

The long way.

With 2 small children.

2 cats (1 resilient, 1 neurotic)

And our shtuff.

In 5 days.

And it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. *happy dance!!*

I mean, our butts hurt and we were all getting pretty sick of fast food, but it was actually enjoyable to just be together and talk (and talk...and talk). The boys were AMAZING. There were definitely a few fussy moments and poorly timed potty breaks (let's just say we're grateful we have boys...if you catch my drift) but considering the circumstances everything went smoothly.

The flight was....interesting. Believe it or not, the boys do better in the car than they do on a plane. The flight was only 3 1/2 hours from SeaTac to Anchorage, but I think with all the rules ("what?? you mean, i can't play with this tray whenever i want??) and small spaces it made the boys antsy. Ben was exhausted, and we all knew it. Even Max knew it. But did Ben nap during the flight?? Oh no, that would be too easy. Instead, he was Turdy McTurdison the whole flight and then fell asleep UPON DESCENT. He couldn't get comfortable since he had to be buckled into his seat so he fussed the whole time; crying for me to hold him and snuggle. Once we landed we just waited for everyone else to get off the plane, hoping to give Ben more time to sleep since neither Justin nor I had a free arm to carry him through the airport once we had our baggage. All-in-all I think the flight/airport was the most stressful part of our move, but thankfully it was only a small part of the trip.

So now we're here! The house is very cute, but still doesn't *quite* feel like home since we're still waiting for our household goods to arrive. They should be here soon, and I am very much looking forward to unpacking and really settling in. The city of Anchorage is like any other city, with its fast food chains, Starbucks and shopping centers. We live in Eagle River, which is about a 30 minute drive from "the city," which really is fine with us since we'd rather avoid the chaos. Justin is already getting geared up for fishing this summer, and we are also starting to plan our garden.

Once our stuff gets here I'll be able to retrieve my USB cable for my Nikon so pictures are coming! I have a good amount on my memory card just waiting to be uploaded...can't wait to share them with everyone!

Hopefully I'll keep up with this blog...time will tell. :)